My 2 hours without Joachim - or: Latin America at it´s best...

This is a true story and you all know that I couldn´t come up with stuff like that on my own. So while you read, please keep in mind, that I´m not exaggerating but all I´m writing happened exactly the same way!

So here come´s the story: I´ve seen many times that they offer horseback riding all over the place here and I thought it would be so great to go horseback riding and enjoy the beautiful country. As we had an afternoon with no plans and Joachim doesn´t like horses, I got the green light to go ahead on my own. So I went to the next tour agency and booked a 2 hour horse back ride in the wonderful area of a nice little town in Chile, surrounded by volcanos and sand dunes.

As it so happened, I was the only participant scheduled. So my (personal) guide - we´ll call him ``B.´´ - was waiting for me with a young and energetic horse. Joachim sent me off and things took their natural course. B.´s first question was `what´s your name?´ the second question was `was that your boyfriend?´ Very well behaved that man: it was only the second question...
Well, I told him that this wasn´t my boyfriend and he immediately started to work it.
It was unbelievable and you´ll crack yourselves up, reading, what I was listening to. Here are a couple of quotes. It would take too long to note them all down, but here are some of my favourites:
- When you told me, that he wasn´t your boyfriend, the sun was rising the second time today! *right - that was a good start!*
- *he made me turn around myself and then said* You´ve got everything a man could desire in a woman. *i know i´ve got all the parts - like every other tourist as well*
- Do you do a lot of sports? Your legs are so muscular... *sure... wanna touch them?*
- I´ve got a secret place up there in the mountains that I´d like to show you. I haven´t gone there for 3 years, but I´d go with you. *but I wouldn´t go with you!!!*
- Why do you wear your hair in a ponytail? Can you open your hair for me? *no, because then i can´t see anymore and can´t keep an eye on you...*
- This horse usually lags behind, but when you´re riding it, it´s so much more energetic. *sure...*
- What are you afraid of? Don´t you want to enjoy the evening and get to know each other a little bit better? *well, let me think that through...*
- Behind that mountain over there is Argentina. We could take a hidden trail and ride to Argentina. Shall we? *fantastic idea! let´s go right now... my parents wouldn´t mind...*
- Do you really think your friend would mind, if we´re just a couple of hours late? *no, he doesn´t care about me anyway. i don´t think he would get nervous, just because i´m gone with a stranger in the chilean mountains and late for a couple of hours.*

And here´s my favourite: I always wanted the fusion between Latin America and Europe!
*I´m sure you do...*

Well, I could go on for hours... It was increadible!!!
Unfortunately this was a couple of weeks ago and I already forgot most of it. I was listening to that for 2 hours and after that, Joachim and I had a drink and I told him about it and we were rolling on the floor laughing for about 4 hours!
So all you guys out there - I hope you read this thoroughly and learnt! This is what women (european tourists?) apparently want to hear... something must be increadibly wrong with me...